Reflections on the end of an era...
Having now completed stints at two seminaries, I offer some reflections on seminary, New Jersey, my wife, my family, and my dog:On Seminary:
-Seminary attracts people w/ borderline mental disorders.
-Anyone can do what seminarians do.
-I love being in seminary.
-Monkeys could write what seminarians read.
-Monkeys might write what seminarians read.
-It's really true that "there's no wrong answer."
-If I could do anything else, I'd be a musician.
-I'd be a terrible musician.
-I don't want to do anything other than this. Except be a musician, but see above.
-Seminary made me interested in ethics.
-Ethics is like golf-the more you try, the worse you are.
-Yes, it should read "Ethics is" above. Ethics is singular.
-Seminarians like to steal other people's ideas and claim them as their own.
-I hate it when people do that.
-I stole the title to this blog post from one of Niebuhr's book titles.
-Seminary makes cussers out of people.
-Almost all classes are interesting in seminary.
-The most interesting thing I did in seminary was out of a classroom, baptizing people in a swimming pool.
-I also got a tour of the embalming room at a funeral home, when we weren't supposed to.
-The woman who took us on the tour of the embalming room was fired shortly thereafter.
-Ministers are faking it if you think they want to be your friend. They just want to take a nap.
On New Jersey:
-It really is the Garden State.
-The license plates should actually read, "The Garden/Industrial Waste State."
-That license plate wouldn't be a good idea.
-Claustrophobics needs not apply.
-There is no good bar-b-cue.
-Northerners are more friendly than Southerners think.
-Only the South still cares about who won the Civil War.
-The North won the Civil War.
-I love public transportation.
-I love to shower after using public transportation.
-There are too many ticks in New Jersey.
-I've found 2 ticks on my neck in the last week.
-It's hard to be a Baptist here.
-Presbyterians are actually pretty swell people. Presbyterian (USA), of course.
On my wife:
-She has the patience of Job.
-She's one of the hardest workers I know.
-She's a better theologian than I am.
-She's a better ethicist than I am.
-I'm a better driver than she is.
-Everyone likes her immediately.
-I'm an acquired taste.
-I'm literally indebted to her for eternity.
-She gives me hope that everything's gonna be alright.
-I can tell she doesn't believe I was a good bball player once.
-She's never beaten me in H-O-R-S-E. The proof is in the pudding.
-I'd marry her again.
-She's the greatest shopper I know.
On my family-immediate, extended, and in-laws:
-I owe you all a lot of money.
-I probably won't be able to pay you back. Ever.
-I'm convinced that community is important because of our families.
-I think we would make a good family in a movie.
-Go see Spanglish. We're not like them, but it's good.
-I'm grateful that everyone's healthy.
-All of my good traits came from my family.
-All of my bad traits are untraceable.
-Except for dry skin. That's directly related to my family.
-I don't think my family would come hear me if I were a rock star.
-I know they would listen to me talk about ethics.
-I think I made the right choice.
-We're going to miss you guys.
On Calvin:
-He's a candidate for seminary.
The end.
posted by John and Mag @ 2:20 PM
7 Comments:
I love it. I guess the 267 pages of theological insights that you wrote this year weren't enough? Are you going through writer's withdrawal? I'm glad you just gave us the outline here instead of the full prose which might have pushed you over the 300 page mark. Great stuff, though. You must have been composing it all year. The only problem is that while you may be indebted to everyone else, you don't owe me a cent. How did I get gypped?
Now it's time to pull yourself away from the computer, grab a slice of good old New York (-vicinity) pizza and enjoy the spring weather with man's best theologian. Meanwhile I'll eat some BBQ in a demonstration of support.
Go Spurs.
-- Ed
Ed,
I'm sure we can find something I owe you money for. How about this, you buy my pizza, and I'll pay you back. Maybe. Off to not write.
The Spurs are awesome. Let's hope Dallas beats Houston and then the Suns.
JKB
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
that's my boy!!
much love, your very proud wife
What a great way to wind up this year of exile! And I agree with Ed, you must have been composting this all year.
Enjoy the down time, and make a lot of new, strong friends, who are interested in some heavy lifting/loading in early August.
Love you both (all three), and congratulations for a job well done.
Love,
K&S
P.S. Bleary-eyed today (5-3-05); Spurs in overtime by 11, wrapping it at a tidy 1:05 a.m. this morning.
hy-five-sterical! i'm lol in the workplace...oops, does that mean i'm socializing too much.?. john, you do sing in a rock band. every time you call. and i go to your concerts. every time i answer. :j and just think, next year, we'll be eating bbq aNd pizza in your honor...aah. the glory of living in a fat state...dad, get tivo...you can fast-forward through all the "fouled-up" free throws and watch the real stuff. boo to the mavs. go rockets! [and spurs!] love to the brother, the sauster, the pupster. it is wE who will miss yE next year. jick
I think we would all (in-laws and out-laws) make a great movie...but who could we ever get to play Calvin? There's not another that comes close!
On the reflections of your past seminary years -- absolutely hilarious--and very humble, perhaps a little too humble. I recognize a great writer when I see one, or read one. You are a very proficient pen-er. Wooed in Waco
Post a Comment
<< Home